I asked my friend when his birthday was, and he said, “March 1st”.
So I walked around the room like a soldier and asked him again.
I left my job today. I couldn’t work for that man after what he said to me.
He said: “you’re fired.”
My wife and I were walking through the park today and we passed a large groups of nuns.
I said wow what an opportunity for a joke, but I’ve got none.
Daughter: “How do I look, Dad?”
Me: “With your eyes, sweetie.”
A dad went into his 13 yr old daughter’s bedroom to find her smoking.
“How long have you been smoking?” he shouted.
“Since I lost my virginity,” she replied.
“You lost your VIRGINITY?” he shrieked. “When the hell did this happen?”
The daughter replied, “No idea, I was drunk!”
A sweet old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He eats a few and asks her why she isn’t having any herself.
“Oh they’re too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn’t.”
“Why did you buy them all then?” wonders the driver.
“You see, I just love the chocolate they’re covered in!”
“Come into the bedroom and I’ll show you a good time,” I said to the wife.
When she came up I showed her pictures of me and my mates before I met her!
Why makes this Joke funny?
This joke plays on the dual meaning of “March 1st” — both as a date and as an instruction to march. The humor comes from the literal interpretation of an expression that is usually understood in a specific context (the date) and taking it out of context (marching like a soldier).
This joke relies on the setup of a serious situation (leaving a job because of something said) and subverts the expectation with a punchline that reveals the situation was exactly as it should be (being fired). The humor is in the exaggerated seriousness of the setup contrasted with the mundane reality.
This joke plays with the expectation of a joke setup when encountering a group of nuns (“none” sounds like “nun”). The punchline humorously subverts the expectation by stating he`s got “none” (no jokes), which is a pun linking back to the nuns, exploiting the homophones “nun” and “none” for humorous effect.
This is an example of literal humor, where the daughter`s question about her appearance is answered in an overly literal way. Instead of commenting on her looks, the dad tells her the method by which one looks, playing on the different meanings of the word “look.”
This joke is built on shock value and the subversion of expectations. The setup leads the audience to expect a typical teenage rebellion scenario, but it escalates quickly with the daughter`s nonchalant revelation, shocking the dad (and the audience) with the unexpected severity of her response.
This joke is based on the absurdity of the situation and the unexpected reason behind the old lady`s actions. The humor comes from the reveal that the lady only bought the peanuts so she could eat the chocolate off them, so the peanuts offered were previously in her mouth
The humor in this joke comes from the bait-and-switch technique. The setup implies a romantic or sexual proposition, but the punchline subverts this expectation by revealing the speaker meant a literal “good time” looking at old photos, which is humorously disappointing and mundane compared to what was implied.
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Joke of the day – 7 short jokes for a good Tuesday
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