The annual World No Tobacco Day campaign (31 May) is an opportunity to raise awareness on the harmful and deadly effects of tobacco use. Raise awareness with these jokes.
The bus driver announces that smoking is prohibited and punishable by a fine of several hundred dollars.
Suddenly, a baby starts crying.
“Come on kid,” the bus driver said “you’re only 6 months old, you can make it without a cigarette.”
Why do people in Beijing smoke so many cigarettes?
To get a breath of filtered air.
Why don’t vampires like to smoke?
They always end up coffin.
A sales guy rings the doorbell on a house, and the door is opened by a 12-year-old holding a glass of cognac and smoking a cigar.
The sales guy is stunned and asks,
“Is your dad home?”
The kid replies,
“What do you think?”
“You know, lady, you don’t actually smoke.
The cigarette does all the smoking, you are just the sucker!”
I want to open a Christian tobacco store.
I’m going to call it Holy Smokes.
My best friend tried to hide his drug dealing through a fake tobacco company and glass manufacturer.
It was all just smoke and mirrors.
Tobacco companies kill their best customers
And condom companies kill their future customers.
Smoking cigarettes helps the environment…
…because it kills humans.
What’s another name for time off from work to have a smoke?
Taking a coughy break .
Why makes this Joke funny?
The bus driver announces that smoking is prohibited …”
The joke plays on the incongruity between what we know about babies and the driver`s exaggerated reaction.
Why do people in Beijing…
This joke plays on the known issue of severe air pollution in Beijing. The punchline is funny because it ironically suggests that cigarette smoke, which is filtered, might be cleaner than the city`s polluted air. It`s the unexpected twist that makes it humorous.
Why don`t vampires like to smoke?…
This is a classic pun. “Coffin” sounds like “coughing,” which is a common result of smoking. Vampires traditionally rest in coffins, so the double meaning of the word creates a clever play on words.
A sales guy rings the doorbell…
Would kid do these things if parents were around?
“You know, lady, you don`t…
This joke plays on the literal meaning of “smoking” and “sucker.” The cigarette is the one burning and producing smoke, so it’s technically the one “smoking.” The person inhaling is called a “sucker” because they are drawing the smoke into their lungs. It`s a play on words with a slight insult, making it humorous.
I want to open a Christian tobacco …
“Holy Smokes” is a pun combining the religious term “holy” with the slang expression “holy smokes,” which is an exclamation of surprise. The play on words is clever and unexpected, making it funny.
My best friend tried to hide his drug dealing …
“Smoke and mirrors” is a phrase that means deception or trickery. The joke humorously applies this phrase literally to a fake tobacco company (smoke) and a glass manufacturer (mirrors). The clever wordplay makes it funny.
Tobacco companies kill their best customers …
This dark humor joke contrasts the outcomes of using products from tobacco and condom companies. Smoking can lead to death, hence killing their best customers, while condoms prevent births, “killing” future customers. The stark truth combined with the play on “killing” is what makes it funny.
Smoking cigarettes helps the environment…
This joke uses dark humor to point out that if fewer people are alive, there might be less environmental damage. The morbidity and irony in suggesting that smoking, which is harmful, could have a positive environmental impact makes it darkly funny.
What’s another name for time off from work …
This is another pun. “Coughy break” sounds like “coffee break,” which is a common term for a short break during work. Since smoking can cause coughing, the play on words makes it humorous.
