How do they sleep at night?
I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg!
I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my birthday.
I said, “this is the last thing that I need.“
Went to the beach and fed the birds cannabis laced cake. They seemed to like it…
I left no tern unstoned!
A spider asked a human, “Why are you afraid of me?”
Human: “Well, all the reasons I had have been replaced by the fact that you can talk.”
Just saw three people jogging outside my window, and it inspired me…
To get up and close the curtains. That’s enough interaction with people today!
If I had to rate our solar system
I’d give it one star
There are 2 words that have opened a lot of doors for me in my life. ..
Push and Pull!
Me: “Dad, do you know where I can get a Greek sandwich?”
Dad: “I don’t know. Let me look through my gyroscope.”
I have a lot of respect for giraffes.
They’re an animal you can really look up to.
The boss looks over the gentleman’s resume and says “Wow, I’m impressed.
It seems like you’ve got everything needed for the job.
But there’s a 4 year gap in here.
What happened there?”
The gentleman responds
“Oh, that’s when I went to Yale.”
The boss is now super impressed and hires the man on the spot
. The man immediately calls his wife
. “Hey honey, I got the yob!”
Why makes this Joke funny?
These jokes are funny due to a combination of wordplay, puns, unexpected twists, and the subversion of expectations. Here`s a breakdown of why each joke might tickle your funny bone:
1. Icelandic Alphabet and Z: The humor comes from the play on the word “Z” (zee) and “sleep” (as in “Zzz” sounds made when sleeping). The joke is that without the letter “Z,” how could Icelanders “sleep,” playing on the visual and auditory representation of sleep in cartoons and comics.
2. Weighing Zero Milligrams: This joke plays on the abbreviation “OMG” (Oh My God) with “0mg” (zero milligrams), creating a pun that blends surprise with a literal interpretation of weighing nothing.
3. Coffin as a Birthday Gift: This is a dark humor joke where the punchline “this is the last thing that I need” can be taken two ways: literally, as in the last thing one would ever need because they`re dead, and figuratively, as in the least desired gift.
4. Feeding Birds Cannabis Laced Cake: The pun here is on “no tern unstoned,” a play on the phrase “no stone unturned,” with “tern” being a type of bird and “stoned” referring to the effects of cannabis.
5. Spider Talking to a Human: The humor arises from the absurdity of a talking spider and the idea that its ability to talk is more frightening than all the typical reasons people are afraid of spiders.
6. Inspired by Joggers: This joke plays on the expectation that seeing others exercise might inspire one to also exercise. Instead, it humorously subverts this expectation by inspiring the speaker to close the curtains, avoiding further exposure to the activity.
7. Rating Our Solar System: This is a simple pun. The solar system is literally given “one star” (the Sun), playing on the dual meaning of “star” as a celestial body and as a rating unit.
8. Push and Pull: The humor lies in the literal interpretation of what has “opened a lot of doors” for the speaker. Instead of metaphorical opportunities, it`s the literal action of pushing and pulling doors.
9. Greek Sandwich and Gyroscope: This joke relies on the similarity in sound between “gyroscope” (a device) and “gyro” (a type of Greek sandwich), creating a pun based on the confusion between the two.
10. Respect for Giraffes: This is a simple play on words, using “look up to” both in the literal sense of physically looking upwards due to the giraffe`s height, and figuratively as in admiring someone.
11. Yale and Job/Yob: The humor comes from the play on the pronunciation of “J” in “job” as “Y,” suggesting the man`s accent or speech
