Sadly my obese parrot just died.
But it’s a huge weight off my shoulders.
As I was sitting drinking my morning cup of tea in my slippers, I thought to myself…
I really must wash some cups!
“999. Which emergency service do you require?”
“What time is the next train out of Victoria station?”
“Sir, that is not an emergency.”
“It most certainly is, I’m tied to the tracks!”
Airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control.
But cases continue to rise.
A midget walks into a library and asked the librarian if there are any books about irony.
The librarian says yes it’s on the top shelf.
How many beans should you put in a pot of chili?
239. Just one more and it’ll be too-farty.
My friend decided to get a face tattoo of his favourite Star Wars character…
You should have seen the Luke on his face!
My wife was blaming me for ruining her birthday
that’s ridiculous, I didn’t even know it was her birthday.
My wife was mad at me because I only spent half a minute celebrating her birthday
In my defense, she told me it was her 32nd birthday
How can you convert dollars to pounds?
By visiting McDonalds
She took me upstairs, got me to take all my clothes off and tied me to the bed..
And that’s why we aren’t allowed in IKEA anymore.
Why makes this Joke funny?
For the joke about the obese parrot, humor comes from the double meaning of “weight off my shoulders.” The phrase usually means “a relief,” but here, it’s literal since the parrot was obese, making it an actual physical burden.
In the joke about the morning cup of tea, humor is based on misdirection. The setup makes you think the person will reflect on something serious or life-changing, but instead, they make a humorous observation about the need to wash actual cups.
In the joke where someone calls 999 about a train schedule, humor comes from miscommunication and absurdity. The caller seems to be asking a non-emergency question, but it turns out he`s actually in an emergency—being tied to the tracks (or is he actyally?)!
The joke about airport police and helium balloons uses a pun on “rise.” While “cases” rising could mean an increase in incidents, here it’s literal—helium balloons float upwards, so the “cases” are rising physically.
The library joke, where a shorter person is looking for a book on irony, hinges on situational irony. The book is placed out of their reach on the top shelf, making the situation itself ironic.
The joke about chili beans plays on the similarity between “two-forty” and “too-farty,” adding a humorous twist with a bodily function joke.
In the birthday joke where a husband denies responsibility for ruining the day, humor highlights the irony: his ignorance of his wife’s birthday is exactly why he ruined it, even though he’s denying any responsibility.
In the joke about a Star Wars tattoo, humor relies on a pun between “Luke,” a famous Star Wars character, and “look on his face,” a common expression referring to someone’s facial expression.
The joke about celebrating the “32nd birthday” plays with numbers and wordplay. The husband interpreted it as an indication he should celebrate for 32 seconds, showing a humorous misunderstanding.
In the joke about converting dollars to pounds, humor comes from the dual meaning of “pounds” as both a unit of currency and a measure of weight, suggesting that eating at McDonald`s might make someone gain weight.
For the IKEA joke, the humor is in the surprise and absurdity. The setup sounds intimate, but the punchline twists it into a public incident at IKEA, adding an unexpected, funny context.
